@ascottwhite – My geek cred expired with the XBOX 360. And I traded my indie cred for an air guitar.

I have so many frequent flier miles, but I want to go to Europe. How do you translate them to Often Aviator Kilometers?

“Desired trip length:” 8 days. “Trip must include a Saturday night stay?” Yes… logically.

Holy cow, holy cow, holy cow! I can fly somewhere for free!! Where do I go? Where do I go? Where do I go??

I bow to no man. But sometimes I curtsey.

I laugh behind Danger’s back.

??? ???l???? Zou? ?s ???dd?.

This morning I woke up in the Twilight Zone. I found my missing glasses, the remote control, that one sock.. and my self-confidence.

New New Year’s Resolution: Keep my car and apartment clean. . . . without having to buy a new car and move.

How can it be that everyone is home and yet the Internet so dead tonight? That’s it! I’m going to the bar with or without you people!

I’m past the age where I fear losing touch with people. I’m now at the age where I look forward to it.

Why is everyone in the Twilight Zone such a slow learner?

2010 Creativity Challenge This Week: Draw the best drawing you possibly can of a scene involving at least one human.

It’s four a.m. on New Year’s Day. I might be the only sober driver out now. And I’m updating twitter, so what does that tell you?

“Did anyone put baby in a corner?” “Oh GOD No.”

Fruits are just a tree’s way of getting us to swallow.

Does anyone have any dormative virtue lying around anywhere?

Q: Can God make a stone so large he himself cannot lift it? A: Yes. Twice as large, in fact. God doesn’t deadlift.