Switching from Thunderbird to Mac Mail… Memory Lane has too many speedbumps and potholes.

When it comes to toilet paper, I’m neither a crumpler nor a folder. I’m more of an origamiist.

I don’t know how many Taco Cabanas you can have on one street in El Paso, but I’m glad it’s at least more than two.

Me in 2007: “I’m going to continue my soul searching until. . . Oh, wait, nevermind. I just found it. It was hiding under a sock.”

Is that why she doesn’t show pictures of herself on Facebook? “Yeah, dude. Do you know how expensive it is to get a satellite image?”

All Cretans are liars. What? Is that offensive if you’re not a Cretan?

“Brown recluse bites are the worst bites you can get in New Mexico.” “Really? Worse than shark bites?”

I tried to high five the mirror, but missed.

Student status message: “My papers: Incessent absences of coherency cloaked under falsely presumed sprouts of profundity. Low quality shit.”

Is it bad form to bury a time capsule in a cemetery? What if it’s dark and nobody’s looking?

Ooh, my most favrd tweet has now been starred six times! … not that I care about that sort of thing… Please love me.

Elbridge Gerry is the namesake of the word Gerrymandering. He was also the first vice president not to run for president… because he died

Conversation – much better than Inversation.

Why does everyone pay attention to my bald spot? What about all the other spots of my head that aren’t bald??

I was like you when I was your age… Only I was younger.

“I’m sick.” “You want Tea? Let me get you some.” “Nooo.” “I have to get up to get you Tea.” “I want You!” “No, that’s the NEXT letter!” 🙂

If you want me to stay just say it. Say anything? It doesn’t even have to be a word, you could just say a vowel. “Y?”

CCing – for use when cutting straight through bureaucracy.