Gabe v. Joseph Lovato

Dear Gabe,

I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t bring his girlfriend down and try to hide her from you. What’s more is that after he said she moved out he still kept her two more days. But that seems to be over now, as my friend says “phew!”

In case you didn’t know, phew is a sigh of relief. Anyway, my friend also hasn’t said a word to his suitemates. Which means that no one has committed themselves to cleaning the bathroom.

Not only that, but my friend lost his backpack, which had his $90 calculator, his $60 camera, and a final exam that has no photocopies anywhere. My friend is losing his mind! What should I do?

-Friend in Need.

Dear Friend In Deed,

The proper solution is to get a new, better, friend.

Dear Gabe, I have a friend that’s having some problems with his mates. See, this friend, let’s call him Fishypoo, is living with this guy, let’s call him donkeybuttbrain, who is not your typical roommate. Assuming your typical roommate doesn’t bring his girlfriend down and try to hide her from you. What’s more is that…