All filler, no killer
I think my next check refills will be giant, novelty checks. Is it just me or has NaBloPoMo made blogging less fun? Today I am thankful for… black bean burgers. p.s. Why isn’t there an Anderson Cooper 360° podcast on…
Ode to the Lappy
I’ve had a swarm of e-mail, phone calls and sympathy packages over my poor lappy since I first reported its demise at the beginning of this month. The hours and days and weeks have been hard for everyone involved, so…
Things you only miss when they’re gone
Youth Hair Your children Your parents Sex Zombies Glasses Hot water Water in general Heat in general Freedom Slaves… I mean maids The respect of your coworkers Health Anderson Cooper 360•1 Peace in the Middle East Your wife/husband2 Food Living…
Things I do that Jack Bauer doesn’t
Ask permission… nicely Dance Have a satisfying poop Not kill people for days at a time Keep my promises, even when it’s inconvenient1 Be giddy Play Halo with my friends Lose… at anything at all Share one of my Twix…
Zoom zoom whir whir
Have you ever seen Heroes? No, check these out. What about Afterworld? No? Ha ha, lookie what I’ve found. House? Ha ha, you get the gist.. I’ve had access to high-speed Internet before. 1 But now that I have it…
Why I love my friends
Early in 2006, Moofruot sent me her sock as per a prior agreement. I’ve mentioned that before. My friends think it’s odd that I carry the sock around in my backpack, but it makes perfect sense to me. I…
Hot, like a bell pepper
“Doctor Doctor Master Albright, my name is—” “Please, please, my friends call me Doctor Master Albright.” Albright interrupted. “Doctor Master—” “It’s actually Doctor Doctor Master.” “But you just said—” “I was making conversation. I was trying to be friendly, but,…
The game’s on you!
It makes me sad that the Daily Show and the Colbert Report are on hiatus until the end of the writer’s strike. I mean, I like writers and I understand their anger against the studios, but damn… why punish Pixel?…
I am thankful for… good professors
While applying to graduate school, there’s a lot of stuff to not be thankful for: 1 the cost of official GRE scores, the cost of official transcripts, strenuous studying and worrying about GRE scores, worrying about your vocabulary worrying about…
Waiting indefinitely for applause
A conversation I had with my friend Frank. 1: I know what you can do to fix your computer. 2: What? 1: Just get a new motherboard! 2: What? That’s like $800! 1: Yeah, isn’t that a great idea? 2:…
This post is available for 99¢ at the iTunes store
Albright was even giving his toddler-clone an in-depth education. His lessons were progressing nicely: he was nearing Algebra now. “I’m going to skip over dividing by percentages and go right on into factorials. Can you say factorials?” Albright asked. “’Torios!”…
Why do bad sons happen to good mothers?
“Listen,” he began in a wooden, rehearsed-sounding tone, “I sympathize with you, I do. My maternal grandmother was 1/16th Arab and she tried to jihad a dozen times before she finally just settled down and married my paternal grandfather. But…
To qualify as a recipient of this letter, you must comment on this post
Did you know there’s a commenting challenge going on for NaBloPoMo? There is, I know because a Final Fantasy VII character told me so. Not being one to trust RPG characters (I still haven’t forgiven Aeris for changing her name…
My Lappy Broke :‘( …again
So I don’t break NaBloPoMo… Almost exactly two years ago, I had my laptop break during finals. As you can imagine, it was bad. That post seems eerily appropriate now as my laptop turned off on me and refused to…
Things you should and should not shake (and how to tell the difference)
RemCon came under new management. Berkowitz’s brief conversation with Albright made him popular for a few years, but it eventually faded. The new management made it explicitly clear that unskilled employees would be fired in favor of employees that could…
I wrote it, so at least I know it’s worth reading
Dr. Dr. Master Alberic Albright was a child prodigy. His genius knew no bounds and he became equally adept at HRTM1, genetics and engineering. The last two degrees were why he felt qualified to manipulate his genetics to produce his…
I’m glad I have a medium
The monitor shimmered momentarily. Then, the image changed to a torch-lit scene of brutal riots. Tijuana residents were throwing Molotov cocktails through store windows. There was looting, severe language, beatings, a gang rape of a local TV anchorman and— at…
I am thankful for… projects
This year I’m doing NaNoWriMo, the project in which you write a novel in one month. I’m also doing NaBloPoMo, the project in which you write one post every day for one month. The problem is that NaNoWriMo is on…