*kills self*
So I accomplished something. Yeah, a newspaper was published today and I’m sort of credited as the Design Editor. You’d think I’d feel more proud, but all I feel is stress. That’s not right. I’ll have to learn to delegate…
Styx & Butz’s idea of humor
Here’s a fun game: type in ‘penis’ into the Google image search while the moderated searching tab is ‘off.’ Then click search and realize you’re in the middle of work and the half-cocked idea to use a funny background in…
Tao of Gabe: Welcome Back
Dear Fans, Gabe the Hysterical Beaver here welcoming you back to another warm and joyous semester of beaver-related hijinks. I’m your local newspaper’s humor columnist. As a 3’ 1” beaver with a bitch for a wife, a fox for a…
I, Kid (part V)
I’ve come up with a new concept that should modify my 12-year lesson plan (as seen on I, Kid part IV). I call it “Holistic History.” The idea is simple but would require the teacher(s) to have near expertise on…
The Ex-Box
This comes from the Extreme line of Pixelated Gaming. Not to be attempted by the faint of heart. This game involves at least five ex-girlfriends/boyfriends and one current girlfriend First, you pair up the ones that don’t know each other…
The pen is mightier
As a young man (this was like twenty minutes ago), I remember reading that Mark Twain’s birth name was Samuel Clemens and thinking, “That’s not a real name! I refuse to call anyone by their non-real name! What a travesty!…
The most important thing
Once, as a child, my pseudo-intellectual uncle gave me the worst piece of advice I’d ever heard: Every time you open a book, find the author and see who he is, for that is the most important thing to tell…
… Why?
I was reading this comment on this post when I realized something. First the comment, so that you can get my mindframe: Terri Says: Instead of ranting about how all that the Christain believes is false, why don’t you research…
Some things nobody can ever know about guys
Question: If you could live your ideal life right now, ignoring the standards of taste and My mate’s answer: I’d win the lottery so I could still keep working where I work and going to school where I go to…
I’m a grown up. Honest!
How old do you have to be to start buying your own clothes? Yesterday my mum came home with three pairs of pants and a vest… for me. Then I realized that in the past three or four years, all…
This is going to be a long year…
You know, I just realized something… today may be the first day in years that I haven’t written anything… anywhere! … aww damn it!
2006
I’ve done New Year’s Resolutions every year now since I was 16. And I usually go through with them. The secret is in my method. My resolutions aren’t like other people’s (lose weight, be happy, smite non-believers). My resolutions are…
WTF 3, NY 6, Pixel Nothing
The latest installment of hilarious quips is up at Spoiled Honey. So go there and vote for me. Also, happy new year. Had I calling cards enough, I’d call each and every one of you… … to ask for money.
Random Intelligence II
The term “dramedy” first came into use in the mid-1980s to describe a new wave of similarly genre-blurring series such as Moonlighting, The Wonder Years, and Hooperman. It appears in an early Usenet post [1] in January 1990. The first…
Poop
Poop may refer to: poop deck and poop cabin (back) of a ship Feces Scatology and toilet humour the act of defecation Puppis, an astronomical constellation, Latin name slang for inside information “Give me the poop.” In fiction: a soft…
Phone Transcripts I
Pixel: Hello. Anita: Hello. (thirty second pause) Pixel: Hi. Anita: Hello. (thirty second pause) Pixel: Who is this? Anita: Anita. Pixel: Oh. (forty-five second pause) Pixel: Do I know you? Anita: It’s Anita. Pixel: Who are you trying to reach?…
Remember that time…
I enjoy saying sentences that contain entire stories within so as to entice people into asking about them… then refusing to say anything. Often times people become angry, but this also works when people know the story I’m referring to…
Ooopsie!!! I forgot to call for submissions. My bad.
The deadline for the next WTF! Carnival is now, now, NOW!! Send your submissions to submissions(at)pixcapacitor(dot)com with “WTF Carnival” in the subject line and I shall forward them to Seth. Alternatively, you could simply send them to Seth and cut…