Gabe the Notorious Beaver, 18, passed away Sunday from congenital heart failure and dehydration caused by chronic, explosive diarrhea. He was 21. Beaver, widely recognized for his record-worthy control of his flatulence and butt-gustingly hilarious columns in local and international…
So I have a table of 12 people for a hypothetical dinner party, from anyone on earth, ever, fictional or no. Jesus, Nietzsche, Buddha, Heidegger, Descartes, David Hume, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Sun Tzu, Chuang Tzu, Lao Tzu, and Satan…
Ahh there’s nothing quite like a new mobile (or ‘cell’ for you people from that land filled with people who assume that the ‘u’ in ‘colour’ is superfluous). The smell. The feel in the hand. The way it seems to…
If you’re like me, then you’re a 6-foot-something white guy (with great hair) from Australia, who’s writing a blog post at the very second. However, if you’re similar to me, then you’re probably just white. Now I’m sure the next…
If you are reading this, odds are you are a struggling author. I too know the pains of waking up daily and having to use ‘words’ to craft ‘…things’. But worry not! If you can read this, you’re already halfway…
Yeah the new WTF Carnival entry is available on my blog right HERE. Sorry for the recent lack of updates- uni has just put its big mits all over mah schiznit (I’ve been told thats the proper way to talk……
Hey all, it’s me. The blog owner. Sorry world. I’ll try to stop subletting my personal life to my damned job. From now on, I’ll make it a point to pay way more attention to the people that matter in…
Today we of the class 2006 go on to bigger and better things. We, who have been cloistered in the classrooms for the past ten odd years, now finally head out into the wide world we’ve worked so hard to…
Dosage: Three tablets once daily, after food, during food, or before food. May be taken with liquids (not milk) if tepid (must be tepid) in glass (must be glass, plastic may cause combustion). Side effects may include: headaches, backaches, kneeache,…
ME: Sorry, what were you saying? TED: What? ME: I just had an itch back there, that’s all. What were you saying? TED: …I’ve been talking for ten minutes… ME: True, true… but um… recap. TED: …Are you on drugs?…
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a new Friend(tm) who will doubtlessly give you years of pleasure (actual pleasure not guaranteed, doubtlessness contested). Before you give your Friend(tm) a spin, though, there are a few safety concerns that…
Aloha to all of Pix’s fans. Due to other ‘commitments’ (which are doubtlessly more important to him than YOU people) I’ve been given the privilege of updating the Pixcapacitor! Who am I? Good question! I’m Ex_cal from ‘Borderland… Homeland… Wasteland‘.…
In an effort to appease my growing legion of fans (who are sort of ticked at me), I’ve given Ex_cal some temporary writing powers. He should be posting soon. I’ll be back as soon as my life gets under control.…
Gabe the Magnanimous Beaver here to reminisce about my youth, so shut up, stupid! See, I was raised in French Canadia— don’t let this fool you, it’s just a reference to the type of kissing we do— and in Canada,…
It’s that I have no time to say it. I’d say more, but I accidentally let it slip that I have a blog to my coworkers and now they’re on the prowl. After what happened with my friends in Australia,…
My friend Jack is caught up in a pyramid scheme. He’s turned into a snake-oil peddler. He called me today and asked me to go to his “Goji juice” meeting (I’ll call it “Gobi juice” from now on because it’s…
Tao of Gabe Gabe the Light-hearted Beaver here continuing his analysis of what happens when the human genders, XY and Roman numeral twenty, are forced into confined spaces for large periods of time. As you’ll recall, last week I gave…
Guess what I have? Three staffi and four (individual) poi. I’m starting a New Mexican Pyromaniacs club. Oh, yeah.