Avast, ye maties!

Ah, September 19th. A day of special significance to everyone in the world, but especially to me. You see, September 19th is the International Talk Like a Pirate Day. A day in which everyone around the world puts down their…

The Aftereffects of the Afterparty

Yeah, long live conception day. So it turns out that, after hanging around people I didn’t want to talk to, meeting and chasing people I did, and being ignored or overly attended by everyone else, I finally finished Conception Day.…

What a Concept (ion day)!

Everything in Australia is named after Lachlan Macquarie (Lah-klan M-k-Worry). I emphasize this. There’s a Macquarie Park, a Macquarie Lake, a Macquarie University, a Macquarie Suburb, a Macquarie Island, and probably even an I Can’t Believe It’s Not Macquarie spread.…

Tao of Gabe: On Illusions

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Noumenal Beaver here to give you a lesson in coping. See, this semester I lost all government help for my education so I moved in with a trio of loveable, if flawed, human beings. Stop…

Psyche!!

Huzzah! I found two psychological textbooks yesterday: Social Psychology and Personality.I stress the Psychology part of Social Psychology. It’s not Sociology. Sociology sucks and you will never hear me say any different (unless I’m making up my own definition of…

The Dyslexic’s Worst Nightmare

So I’m coming up with my own language now. I finally grew tired of seeing all the stupid letter shapes we have to deal with (j, s, e, f, g, et cetera), and decided to design my own alphabet. Every…

This Means Administrative Business

So Seth pwned me. He’s at 5000 while I’m at a lowly 4100. You know what this means, don’t you? 1: Project? That’s right, Pinky, it’s time for Web Sweeps. The goal is to get up to 5000 hits by…

RE: Adding Humour to Lachlan

Thanks for the email Gabe, I’m reading bits of your website as I get the chance. Are you a Mac student? Word length for articles – full page 600 words – half page is half that. Karl.

Nerd Hecklers

snarkage: Here’s a concept I’d like to see more of: Nerd Hecklers. Imagine a motivational speaker going to a Uni and having nerds shout out random (or stastically inconsequential) comments like, “Your mom and I did the 1000101!” or “The…

The Unforgiving Outback

Wow. They finally reached Cooper’s Creek on April 21, only to find the camp abandoned. There was a message cut into a tree “DIG 3 FEET N.W.”. They did so, and found some supplies, and a letter explaining that the…

Nostalgia for Posts Past

Am I the only one that gets radical enjoyment out of going through my archives? I mean, I’ve written some pretty radical stuff. Never mind that the things I seem to prefer are always the things that get 0 to…

“Are you Trying not to get laid?”

Damn it. Sometimes I wish people would start rumours about my sexual orientation.When I first started college, my friends and I would always hang out together and poke fun at each other. Two of the common staples involved the hidden…

Adding Humor to Lachlan

I couldn’t help but overhear that you wanted to add some humour to your wonderful publication. Look no more! I, Gabe the advice-giving Beaver am here to help. Perhaps you’ve seen my work in Panther Tracks, Carver’s BT, the Pix…

Tao of Gabe: On Compliments

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Rhetorical Beaver here with a lesson in ‘Ninja Speak.’ The idea of ninja speak is to leave your opponent rubbing his proverbial bum from a verbal shellacking that he is reasonably sure came from your…

Kant is such a Douche

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Copernicus decide that we weren’t at the center of the Universe? Ptolomy was the one that believed that the Universe conformed to us. So when any random douche says he wants to instill…