How are you? This letter is in response to your letter dated February 9, 2005. Dear sir –STOP– We are writing you this letter to tell you to cease your infernal –STOP– manifestations you call ‘blogs’ that are in referrence…

There is a direct and inverse squared ratio between the amount of awesome stuff one does and how many posts they put on their blog. Figure that one out.. .. Or don’t. Whatever. It works like this: Posts = [1/(Awesome…

The Blogging Bloggers Association of Blogging in the Blogosphere (or BBABB) has rated this site: P42, which means that no children under the age of 42 or whose names contain the letter ‘P’ are allowed to think about this board.…

My cousin has a nose picking disorder, and recently it has become chronic. He told me that he had a mission to find his brain. I’m concerned for his disorder, and was wondering what could aide my cousin in his…

Don’t Do What Donny Don’t Does: Donny Don’t make your posts excessively long. Donny Don’t make your posts about nothing anybody who doesn’t know about it wouldn’t care about? Got it? Because I don’t. Donny Don’t go for too long…

Crap. I never meant to delete a post… sorry about that. I hate reading that in other people’s blogs, sorry I did it here. In any case, I reposted it right afterward, so no big loss.

If you hate memes too, you should put this in your signature, profile, blog, e-mail, website, title, correspondence, and legal name. Everyone should put this in their legal name.

Why is it that when my friend Frank says, “I would do horrible things to that woman,” in reference to Angelina Jolie, it means something dirty or kinky and it’s funny, but when I try to say it in reference…

Hmm.. The old me would make a joke at his expense. The new me is too tired.

Now I understand why you hate him, Pammy. We could have left in the morning. We could have gotten there and hung out with people we knew and had a blast. We could have stayed the night there and then…

Happy Birthday, Pam!! I wish there were some way to see you on this, your 21st b-day… hmm… Wait… it seems as if I’m going on a spur of the moment, impromptu trip to Albuquerque armed with nothing more than…

I never asked to be on DailyKos’ list of blogs that are spreading the truth about social security, or on blogs now’s list of blogs discusing MSNBC or Dr. Dobson’s friggin’ crazy accusations, but I guess I am… Also, I’m…

I just saved two more people. See, I saw that the Parking Nazii was coming by from another holocaust (or something), so I just went ahead of her and put money in all of the meters that were about to…

Get online just as someone posts something, then keep changing the page until the person realizes that they’re being messed with.

Turns out I was full of bunk with one of my previous posts. I’m not going anywhere near USQ. It’s Macquarie all the way, baby. Also, check out these guys. I know the Able fellow from AP Biology in high…

I’ll give a dollar to the first person to tell me how to get rid of that pop-up that stalks this page. Better yet, I’ll give them $1024 if they tell me today. $512 if they tell me the 4th,…