Gotta admire the people that don’t talk to me, tbh.

1: you look younger than you are 2: thank you! Every painting in my house has aged terribly!

1: I signed up for an improv class, but missed half the classes. 2: So you’re basically only half an improviser? 1: “yes,

Why does all emotional baggage have to be about relationships and not, like, fear of muppets or something?

You can’t ask me how I’m doing, it’s a violation of HIIPA.

1: I work out every day, why am I still squishy? 2: Have you tried watching your diet? 1: Wow, way to victim blame.

breakfast is one of the three most important meals of the day

If I’m on the cusp of ENTP and INFP, shouldn’t I just be an -N-P?

One time, my dental hygienist gave me a hot tip on Settlers of Catan. “Settle near a three! Three lands more often than the board says it does.” I think about this often.

Sometimes, the smallest reconciliation can make your day. Today, I realized my once and future best friend didn’t actively block me on main.

Jack disease: Jack ages at 4x the normal rate. Benjamin Button case: Benjamin is born at age 84 and ages backward. The question for today is: when would it be socially acceptable for them to date? As we all know,…

Are there gorillas in the monsterverse? People seem to not know that Kong is just a big gorilla.

Me: “I’ve been feeling more depressed recently” Also Me: “you’ve been spending time on Twitter again” Me again: “what’s your point?” Me, too: *scrolling*

I miss when , , and were among my most commonly used emojis. Now it’s just , , and .

The next checks should just go to me because I’d spend them all on local businesses. It’s trickle around economics!

“I wish for one more wish infinite times.”

I kinda like myself a little, maybe, somewhat, sort of, right now. It’s nice. You should try it! 🙂

My life is like My 600 lb. Life but for emotional health.