I’m just a Roy trying to find his Pam.
I’m just a Roy trying to find his Pam.
We’re all agreed that the next zombie movie will include zombie deniers, right?
We’re all agreed that the next zombie movie will include zombie deniers, right?
Okay, starting RIGHT NOW I’m going on a 24-hour fast.
Okay, starting RIGHT NOW I’m going on a 24-hour fast. Not all at once, obviously, I’ll pause it for lunch and dinner.
Radio President: FDR TV president: JFK Movie President: Reagan Reality TV/Twitter President: Trump I don’t think any of them have been elected in the era of prior or later media.
Radio President: FDR TV president: JFK Movie President: Reagan Reality TV/Twitter President: Trump I don’t think any of them have been elected in the era of prior or later media. Now I’m worried who the first Tik Tok President will…
Principled artists supporting BLM: “I don’t care if it costs me my career.
Principled artists supporting BLM: “I don’t care if it costs me my career.” Me, self-destructing since 2002: ? ? ? ? ?
My first job was selling programs at a baseball stadium.
#repressedmemories My first job was selling programs at a baseball stadium. After a while, the word “GramsPro” lost all meaning and I began to conjugate it incorrectly.
In Germany, there’s a superstition that failing to make eye contact while saying cheers will result in seven years bad sex.
In Germany, there’s a superstition that failing to make eye contact while saying cheers will result in seven years bad sex. But… you know you have some say in this! I think of all of the times I failed to…
Who had the Cheeto Mussolini poisoning himself on their 2020 bingo card?
Who had the Cheeto Mussolini poisoning himself on their 2020 bingo card?
There’s apparently a David in Animal Crossing.
There’s apparently a David in Animal Crossing. I’m sure marble was expensive and Michelangelo couldn’t afford to give him pants.. It’s worse: he’s made of marble, so that’s him when he’s rock hard. But he could have made him shorter…
It turns out the rhythm method isn’t just keeping 4/4 time.
It turns out the rhythm method isn’t just keeping 4/4 time. Well, damn.
Dating in the time of COVID is only different if you don’t have a death wish, but that’s a hard thing to put in a profile.
Dating in the time of COVID is only different if you don’t have a death wish, but that’s a hard thing to put in a profile.
Me: I made some awesome guacamole! Roommate narrating: @pixelation, not known for tooting his own horn, toots his own horn.
Me: I made some awesome guacamole! Roommate narrating: @pixelation, not known for tooting his own horn, toots his own horn.
1: what’s Brazil about? 2: presumably some guy named “Brazil.
1: what’s Brazil about? 2: presumably some guy named “Brazil.” 1: … 2: or some girl?
Who knew my best life was pandemic life?
Who knew my best life was pandemic life?
Speed running life like the goal was to date all of the behavioral disorders.
Speed running life like the goal was to date all of the behavioral disorders.
Roommate celebrated Easter by giving me three tiny chocolates and whole roll of toilet paper.
Roommate celebrated Easter by giving me three tiny chocolates and whole roll of toilet paper… what kind of GI problems does she think I have??
I’m so rich, I use toilet paper as toilet paper.
I’m so rich, I use toilet paper as toilet paper.
This quarantine has gone on so long, it’s a quaren-adult!
This quarantine has gone on so long, it’s a quaren-adult!