Look at this idiot. He’s such a tool. Half of his opinions are stupid (or inane, or too stupid to have opinions about) and the others are based on lies and half-truths. Furthermore, he’s a real right-wing nut-job as can…
Ever noticed how, in scary movies, they never show you the point of view of the killer? Or how they often use newspaper clippings to tell the story that the writer couldn’t work into the dialogue on the count of…
Okay, hands up, who all remembered how I’d already pinpointed where everyone goes wrong with blogging before? EVERY blogger should go to this link and follow my advice.
My grand-uncle has a saying: “Cuando encuentres tu pendejo, ¡no lo sueltes!” which translates, roughly, to “once you find your idiot, never let him go” My regular uncle has another saying: “Cada quien escoge sus chingaderas.” which translates, smoothly, to…
Literally. This Straight Edge stuff is hard. But that’s me: Socially Promiscuous, Fiscally Conservative, but a Personal Prude. Not only do I not drink, smoke, or do drugs, but I avoid meat, products that were tested on animals or created…
I bought my own birthday cake, I watched a 1960s movie with my mom, and I broke into my friend’s house to use his X-Box and play Halo 2… Alone. Materialistically, I also got a lot of good stuff (notably…
Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear Pixel, Happy Birthday to me! I’m twenty, bitches.
My life as a teenager: 84.5 viewspapers 56 e-viewspapers a full-length play a one-act play a semi-started sitcom, book, and screenplay dozens of short stories a nice collection of quotes and witticisms a trinity of crazy-ass ex-girlfriends over a hundred…
AOL and the Discovery Channel have compiled a list of the 100 Greatest Americans (presumably ever), as have I. The following names should not be on the list for various reasons: Barbara Bush George H. W. Bush George W. Bush…
Curse words are interesting. People that overuse them reveal their ignorance, people that don’t use them reveal their prudishness. I think they’re interesting. I don’t think they’re special or rude in any particular way (they’re sounds. Rude is the intention…
“There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we…
The temperature is approximately 70 degrees right now (Fahrenheit. Approximately 21.1 degrees Celsius). Nice, ain’t it? Never mind that it’s technically the low for today. The high was 104 (40 degrees Celsius). Apparently, this will continue for another week. Luckily,…
*sigh* No more Bible talk. I usually don’t shy away from confrontations, but my heart’s just not in this, and I know it’ll be a pretty terrible battle soon. In fact, no more witty observations about day-to-day life. I find…
Apparently, someone has a problem with one of my positions. Now, while I fully believe that I am correct, I accept that I was just picking a fight to see who’d comment.It’s a terrible method of seeing if I’m being…
I need new categories. I feel like I’m using snarkage too much and I can’t even categorize some of my posts. Any help? The current categories are: snarkage crazy-ass anecdote administrative business advocacy thought experiment I’m thinking of adding categories…
I take back all of my railing against Star Wars. Any movie that makes a political statement against the Prez is alright with me.. Except for that damned Fahrenheit 9 What was with that? Seriously…
While cruising today, I noticed that of the dozen or so stations on the radio, a full four of them were Christian. This man on one station was complaining about people who comment on the bible. “Why listen to them…
When I first bought my car, I thought, “ooh, a hybrid! All my car woes will cease from this day forth.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…