The check engine light is off and i am calm for two reasons now.

I’m trying to be an optimist and think of all the close friends I have that Didn’t just die tragically last week. :'(

I’m in nyc. zomgz.

I love you all. And hereby forbid you from dying. Kthnxbai!

Wakes are misnomers.

Life is too short. Just too Damn short. sigh… Kyle Weber rest in peace. Saying goodbye hurts.

They say “it could have been” is the worst sentence in English, but I think “your best friend gave your daughter terminal herpes” is worse.

Went snowboarding today. So obviously my butt hurts. Also: the wrist I kept landing on, my knees, and most of my head.

Classes ended a month ago, exams ended a fortnight ago, and I already claimed I was finished. But NOW I really am. Yey!

See: They… they stole my idea! Also, they know all of my punchlines!

I don’t understand why nobody’s profile picture is a picture of them facing sideways in profile. This seems Wrong.

It is SNOWING in the Texas panhandle!! I’m not there, I don’t ever plan to go, and I don’t know anyone there, but still.. it’s pretty crazy.

These cookies have 10 percent less fat! That means I get to eat 10 TIMES as many!!

INTP 22/50/12/33

I seek enlightenment, but 40 watts will suffice.

If the writer crafts his ideal world, I have got some serious problems..

Okay it is almost 2009. Everyone should just make a wishlist on amazon already. I don’t want to spend another xmas just guessing.

Ten weeks after someone broke down my door and beat and burgled me, I am signing up for renter’s insurance. Finally.

I’ve decided happiness is the most important thing in life. So I’m going to be happy, even if it makes me miserable.

@meznor – You rule many times over.

Taking ideas for new year’s resolutions. Assume I’m already perfect: where do you go from there?

What’s the deal with babies? They are so immature. Grow UP people!

At duke basketball game. All players wearing blue and white nikes. Not a pair of sandals in sight.

I’m tired of hearing about folk psychology. I want to hear about folk psychiatry — They can prescribe medication!

I wish I understood French… Or women… Or cartoons… Understanding French cartoon women would be double-plus good times.

Watching Persepolis without subtitles. *sigh* Reminds me of my youth. When I was a cartoon girl in Iran for some reason.

Someone just told me I was “one of the funniest people” they’d ever met… Just “ONE of?” What an asshole. My nana can be cold sometimes.

I can’t wait until Jan. 1 so I can recycle my jokes: “I haven’t seen you since December! Which, when you think about it, was quite recently”

…. You ever miss the feeling of nostalgia? … *sigh*

“Usually my jokes are from the tv. I’m not that creative.” “… Wait, Where’s that from?”

I strongly suspect staying up till 5 every day for the past two weeks is responsible for my insomnia. Either that – or goblins.

Things I don’t get: It. (That is all.)

You guys remember that time I was beaten, burgled, and broken into? I’m trying to shorten that into a 250 word story now… for posterity.

Whoa, I’m gone for a day and my two sentence philosophy papers meme takes off and mutates into haiku form. Très cool.

I haven’t said anything witty in 24 hours. That’s got to be a new record.

Famous philosophical papers in two sentences: Mary lives in grayscale but studies colors a LOT. Then she sees red – She probably says “Wow.”

Going home. I feel pity for those still studying in the library, resentment for those who are not.

Ooh! Acquired Sociopathy and the moral/conventional distinction! This is going to be interesting… =D

I love unnecessary clarifications, because they make you wonder if they weren’t necessary. “Pixel will be there: with pants ON.”