Dr. Dr. Master Alberic Albright was a child prodigy. His genius knew no bounds and he became equally adept at HRTM1, genetics and engineering. The last two degrees were why he felt qualified to manipulate his genetics to produce his…
The monitor shimmered momentarily. Then, the image changed to a torch-lit scene of brutal riots. Tijuana residents were throwing Molotov cocktails through store windows. There was looting, severe language, beatings, a gang rape of a local TV anchorman and— at…
This year I’m doing NaNoWriMo, the project in which you write a novel in one month. I’m also doing NaBloPoMo, the project in which you write one post every day for one month. The problem is that NaNoWriMo is on…
Am I the only one that hates South Park? South Park is batting .001
This is a historical document. It details the period immediately before the ending of the universe as well as a few seconds (or eons?) afterwards. It focuses on the misadventures of one pseudo-heroic, genetically manipulated Grecian youth. It is to…
Just received four ‘happy halloween’ text messages…. Yikes
Metafiction is a type of fiction that self-consciously addresses the devices of fiction. It is the literary term describing fictional writing that self-consciously and systematically draws attention to its status as an artifact in posing questions about the relationship between…
or: Things that I’ve joked about that I now realize were in bad taste and yet I still haven’t learned to curb my tongue.1 Politics Religion Race The lives of your children Bomb jokes at the airport Poison candy jokes…
Evaluation of Merit Pixel Q. Styx, certified blog writer Insight: 9.5 Originality: 10 Hilarity: 7 Reliability: 6.5 Language: 9.5 Spelling: 9.5 Social Science: 9.5 Art: 4 Cooperation: 5 Courtesy: 10 Self Reliance: 9 Conduct: 10 Attention: 9 Workmanship: 8 Effort:…
(Actual conversation just now) 2: I love Moof! She sent me a sock once. Here. 3: You carry around a sock with you? 2: Look! 1: You carry that around with you? … twenty minutes later… 3: I can’t believe…
Inspired by Courtney’s latest post, I’ve decided to do a similar thing here. She said, Ask me anything you want. I will do the Jeopardy version of this and ask you all to give me any one answer and I’ll…
I’ve hugged 145 people this year out of my goal of 150… and I think I RAN OUT OF PEOPLE!!!
Web 2.0.1. It’s like Web 2.0, but everything is in sync… finally!
Inspired by Heather Anne, I too have decided to create my own children’s story. This is the much needed update to Hans Christian Anderson’s antiquated “Ugly Duckling” story. It was lovely summer weather in the city, and the skyscrapers, traffic…
A few weeks ago my friend invited me to a party in a part of town I didn’t know. Being a guy, I didn’t ask for directions and instead Google mapped it. I memorized the route and tried to remember…
Anyone have $27,000 I could borrow to help my cousin immigrate? I’ll pay you back next Tuesday… (really… sort of)
Hmm. Some time ago, I had a bad experience with my blog. I was passed over for a promotion as a direct result of something I wrote and eventually fired from a job I rather cared about. For history’s sake,…
In bed On the toilet While handling electrical equipment While delivering a baby At the dentist During a psychiatric evaluation When there’s two seconds left on the clock While proposing Tuesdays To get out of a ticket While meeting your…
It seems my ivory tower heresy angered a regular reader… oops!
NaNoWriMo is coming too soon for me…
Finally decided not to coordinate my tweets with blog posts. Expect more frequent tweets… (sorry)
I recently did a post on mysteries. It wasn’t very in depth, really it was just me asking everybody what their favorite mystery was. I worried when I wrote the post that somebody was going to ask ‘the big question’…
Would you go and relive your youth if it wasn’t really going back in time? I realized, after writing my last post, that I never wanted to go back to that time in my life again! But if someone offered…
Sorry about the bad advice I gave you last time. I couldn’t help it. It just seemed hilarious at the time. Besides, some jerk future version of myself did it to me when I was your age and he was…
I discuss my ideas with everyone, not just you e-people who read my blog. After the last post I wrote about Sim Pixelonia, my friend Frank* decided he wanted to create his own country too. Since I was both repulsed…
I now am a first-world citizen: I have high-speed INTERNET! Now I can waste more time… and quicker! #
Begin complaining about your menstrual cycle and other assorted feminine problems. Make plans with him and stand him up four times in a row. Then, when you show up and he doesn’t: throw a tantrum and cry. Steal his cell…
I now am a first-world citizen: I have high-speed INTERNET! Now I can waste more time… and quicker!
1111 comments to my blog!! Of course, 168 are mine and 257 were imported from an unrelated device… But 685 just doesn’t seem as impressive… # Do you think there’s any way to limit comments on posts to 10? I…
1111 comments to my blog!! Of course, 168 are mine and 257 were imported from an unrelated device… But 665 doesn’t seem as impressive…
Here’s a question: If you could figure out the definite, true answer to any one mystery of anything, what would you choose? Here are some sample mysteries: Did Bigfoot eat the Lindbergh baby? Did aliens illegally immigrate to the United…
In doing research for this post, I realized that both browsers mentioned are trying to include something similar to this (albeit far less functional) in their next major release. This makes me happy as I wasn’t expecting people to be…
Do you think grad schools would think it was deep if I just sent a letter that said ‘tweet, tweet, tweet?’ or do I have to write a longer essay? #
Do you think grad schools would think it was deep if I just sent a letter that said ‘tweet, tweet, tweet?’
The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Tuesday, May 15, 2007, and sent via FutureMe.org Dear Pixel, circa October 2007: Sometime I don’t get you. You left your job to travel the world and you ran out…
I like the environment. It’s been good to me. It warms the cockles of my heart. So when it asked me to write a post in my own style for Blog Action Day, I was more than happy to oblige.…
I realized some time ago that most arguments (esp. bad ones) can be deflated with a few well-placed words. If they’re really good words, they can also deflate the person’s ego and get a laugh from nearby bystanders. I found…
I was recently asked, in a culturally infectious transmission of information (a meme), which literary characters I’d make out with if I could. Since hot female leads are usually not the reason I choose books, this list was tough, but…
There are two types of labels that people use to describe themselves: accidental and essential properties (footnote to Aristotle*). I find these fascinating as I peruse ‘about me’ profiles throughout the Internet. The perceived essential properties always jump out at…
This post continues an idea from yesterday’s post. When I was a kid I was always bad at Truth or Dare. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to share things about myself and it wasn’t because I was afraid of…
I have an avid interest in labels. I find it interesting to see what words people choose to call each other. I think it defines the person saying it more than the person they’re saying it about. For instance, a…
If age is a mental state, then years don’t tell you how old a person is. Luckily, language is an expression of thought and thought is a reflection of mental state. So you can usually tell how old someone is…
In trying to be an innovator (rather than simply an early adopter), I like to keep my ears open about all sorts of cool things. Especially when these things solve problems you otherwise would have to live with. These are…
I like Bush because he’s against gay marriage and likes babies. – Rachel Hampton (an issue voter) This is Pro-Life Topia: the possible world in which anti-abortion forces finally criminalize abortion in your particular country. Now P-LT is just like…