17. When I was in high school, I would relentlessly tease a kid I couldn’t stand by giving him nicknames. I also teased people I really, really liked by giving them nicknames. The fact that I treated people I hated…

16. My parents got me a leather jacket for my 17th birthday.  I became a vegetarian at age 18.  I still wear that jacket.  And no, it’s not hypocritical, damn it. Dear World, So, it turns out that one of…

15. I am a vegetarian. The last time I purposefully ate meat was Good Friday, 2004. I thought it was funny at the time. I don’t feel like writing a post today, you do it. Let me know how it…

14. I admit it, damn it. I voted for Nader. And you know what: I’d do it again. You know why? Because I vote as an exercise in absurdity, not to elect any particular person. Even though I’ve only been…

13. I once lost a job because of something I wrote on my blog.  Specifically, I called someone’s mustache ‘mysterious’ in a way that would imply derision.  If I could go back, I’d do it all over again, but have…

12. I’ve wanted to go away to college since sixth grade. Partly for that reason, I’ve gone on exchange twice and moved on a whim a few more times. I like to consider myself a nomad (but with better hair).…

11. I can count the number of people I’ve kissed on one hand. Then again, I know sign language, so I can count to 999 on one hand. 🙂 So it may be more than 5, but it’s still a…

10. When I was ten, I thought about Superman and the movie Contact and wondered whether it was selfish for humans to assume that we were created in God’s image. It was a slippery slope from there. This just hilarious.1…

9. I trained my clapping for two years. Now I can do what I call the ‘Sonic Clap,’ which deafens all children and puppies in the area… and not clap in any other way.. I have compiled a list of…

8.  I never learned my multiplication tables.  I missed out on the grade that taught them: fourth grade.  *sigh*  I wonder what else I missed by skipping fourth grade. “Hey, lady, how do I know your child isn’t an ADULT…

7. I didn’t go to a “good college” after high school because my parents begged, threatened, and bribed me not to. Apparently, they were having some serious marital difficulties at the time and couldn’t bear the thought of me leaving…

6. My brother lives in Fayetteville, NC. I have no idea what he does for a living. Soon, I will live in Durham, NC. While I don’t really get along with him, I’m nevertheless excited about getting to live near…

4. I was born at 19:41, on 29 May 1985. There’s nothing really special about this day, but I still pause every time I see the clock say 5:29. I have a friend who’s birthday it is today. I feel…

3. If I get good practice, I can solve a standard Rubik’s cube in under 90 seconds. This meme is directed entirely at Ashley. She knows why. These are all official IMDB “Plot Keywords” to movies I like. I am…

A bit after I wrote yesterday’s post, someone else from the past called me. We spoke for 153 minutes,1 which was awesome, because I hadn’t spoken to her in months. She was one of the two girls Gordon and I…

Gordon called me once, a few years after he’d left New Mexico. He said he was in the area and that we should hang out. I agreed, but neither of us took the initiative and nothing ever came of it.…

As promised, our story begins when Gordon and I are friends and we spend much of freshman year together… but first, a word about my first girlfriend.1 Over the summer, I developed a crush on a girl, Crystle, and asked…

Sordon Gpurgeon was an interesting kid. I have vague recollections of him from as early as sixth grade, and am reasonably sure he was in one of my seventh grade classes, but I always knew who he was nonetheless. Gordon…

A long time ago, back when I cried every time someone shattered a beer bottle on my bottom lip, some angry white people came to my house. It was an old redneck and some blond, white kids that were about…

I’m trying to think of something offensive and yet funny, but I can’t seem to get them to mix in the exact formula that has made my blog so famous:1 Ingredients: One part taboo One part unexpected A dash of…

I want to write a sequel to Anne Frank’s The Diary of a Young Girl, but from the German Nazi point of view.

Okay, so not really. It’s actually Casa de Judy1, but she lets me stay here for $650 a month. So it’s really Cuarto de Pixel.2 But at least it has Muebles de Pixel.3 These pics are all taken from the…

Numbers or Lists Hyperbolic claims Memes (for some people) Exclamation points!! Politics Things that might be about you Why are there only six items on this list?  I call foul!

Having an ethnic name,1 I sometimes get people expecting me to show up in a Dashiki Poncho with bling. When I show up wearing only the bling, people are somewhat surprised. My name hinders my chances when applying for a…

I can count on one hand how many times I’ve worn a giant sombrero or a poncho or a trench coat, but this doesn’t seem to stop people from having those instances be the first time they remember seeing me.…

Read this and weep:1 For those of you not in the know, Duke is ranked 36th worldwide in philosophy, but 1st worldwide in philosophy of biology, which is my intended focus. You might say I only got accepted because of…

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Barring mitigating circumstances, all of my friends should be willing to: Bail me out of jail if need be (I’ve seriously lost a friend because of this) Give me a relatively small amount of change (such as to be able…

Washing your hands consists of four necessary and sufficient steps. Run water over hands Lather hands with soap Run water over hands Dry And yet, if you mess up the order, as I just did, it doesn’t work.

I’m so sick of discrimination, I want to vomit in fury.  I’d finally gotten to the point in my life when I thought that I was okay with this.  When I thought that the world was changing and that in…