WTF yo?! WTF?!
Yeah the new WTF Carnival entry is available on my blog right HERE. Sorry for the recent lack of updates- uni has just put its big mits all over mah schiznit (I’ve been told thats the proper way to talk……
Well. I’m a jerk.
Hey all, it’s me. The blog owner. Sorry world. I’ll try to stop subletting my personal life to my damned job. From now on, I’ll make it a point to pay way more attention to the people that matter in…
Here’s To Moving On
Today we of the class 2006 go on to bigger and better things. We, who have been cloistered in the classrooms for the past ten odd years, now finally head out into the wide world we’ve worked so hard to…
DOSAGE
Dosage: Three tablets once daily, after food, during food, or before food. May be taken with liquids (not milk) if tepid (must be tepid) in glass (must be glass, plastic may cause combustion). Side effects may include: headaches, backaches, kneeache,…
WIRED
ME: Sorry, what were you saying? TED: What? ME: I just had an itch back there, that’s all. What were you saying? TED: …I’ve been talking for ten minutes… ME: True, true… but um… recap. TED: …Are you on drugs?…
Congratulations!
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a new Friend(tm) who will doubtlessly give you years of pleasure (actual pleasure not guaranteed, doubtlessness contested). Before you give your Friend(tm) a spin, though, there are a few safety concerns that…
An Introduction… and a ranting.
Aloha to all of Pix’s fans. Due to other ‘commitments’ (which are doubtlessly more important to him than YOU people) I’ve been given the privilege of updating the Pixcapacitor! Who am I? Good question! I’m Ex_cal from ‘Borderland… Homeland… Wasteland‘.…
Proto-pixel
In an effort to appease my growing legion of fans (who are sort of ticked at me), I’ve given Ex_cal some temporary writing powers. He should be posting soon. I’ll be back as soon as my life gets under control.…
Tao of Gabe: On Canadian Memories
Gabe the Magnanimous Beaver here to reminisce about my youth, so shut up, stupid! See, I was raised in French Canadia— don’t let this fool you, it’s just a reference to the type of kissing we do— and in Canada,…
It’s not that I have nothing to say
It’s that I have no time to say it. I’d say more, but I accidentally let it slip that I have a blog to my coworkers and now they’re on the prowl. After what happened with my friends in Australia,…
Would you like to buy some Gobi Juice?
My friend Jack is caught up in a pyramid scheme. He’s turned into a snake-oil peddler. He called me today and asked me to go to his “Goji juice” meeting (I’ll call it “Gobi juice” from now on because it’s…
Tao of Gabe: On Mass Guys
Tao of Gabe Gabe the Light-hearted Beaver here continuing his analysis of what happens when the human genders, XY and Roman numeral twenty, are forced into confined spaces for large periods of time. As you’ll recall, last week I gave…
Firestarter
Guess what I have? Three staffi and four (individual) poi. I’m starting a New Mexican Pyromaniacs club. Oh, yeah.
WTF mate?
Hey, does anyone wish to submit and/or host the next WTF Carnival? To make this take off we need your help. 🙂 That is purely to supplement my own lack of involvement due to my selling my soul to the…
The logical consequences of Utilitarianism and the Principle of Equality
Abstract: The particular brand of Utilitarianism that Peter Singer and other philosophers since have advocated is incomplete. The true effects of what Singer takes to be evident truths are far more far-reaching than the simple vegetarian/vegan/environmentalist alternative that Singer wishes…
Tao of Gabe: On Mass Girls
Jayna, To prepare for this article, I lived with twenty-six girls for a period of six months. I just don’t mention them in the article because I barely made it up right now. Love, Gabe. ~o_O~ Gabe the Ketotic Beaver…
Bad Advice
Among certain of my friends, I am notorious for giving bad advice. I find it amusing. Among other friends, I am well known for my excellent advice. I find that insightful. Among other friends, I am known for my sometimes…
I expected more from you
🙂 I have no expectations for my friends. At least not really. If I did, I’m sure I’d get disappointed so much more often. If you think about it, that’s how friendships develop, really. While I’ve met people that fit…
On Work
Remember that period when I didn’t blog about anything but philosophy exclusively for two weeks? Yeah, I feel like I’m doing that about work now. Sorry guys. I’ll stop.
Pixel Editor-in-Chief
The News Editor wants me to apply for the Editor-in-Chief position next year. At first I said ‘no’ out of modesty, but now I seriously don’t want to do it. Seriously. First off, I doubt I’ll have enough time. That…
I own this place
I might as well live in the newsroom. I spend more time here than humanly possible and have as much, if not more, knowledge– in my two and a half weeks on the job– of the paper and paper-related factoids…
The $5 remainder
Every time I wake up in the morning, I lose $9. Simply by not dying in the night (oh, to be so lucky), I have lost $9. Because every thirty nights I don’t die, I must pay $270. Now, that…
Tao of Gabe: On Ninja Speak, Arguments
Jayna, I’m probably going to take a week off soon. This is killing me. And Pix’s criticisms aren’t helping. -Gabe ~~~ Tao of Gabe Gabe the Jingoistic Beaver here with another lesson in ‘Ninja Speak.’ Ninja Speak is an elusive…
It is official
The United States blows. What makes even dialing out of this country such a big ordeal? Honestly. 🙁 Well, if you can read this: happy birthday Angela. I tried calling, honest. But my luck wasn’t any better here than it’s…
“Remember that time I bailed you out of jail?”
“… well now I need a favor.” Frank Jagear is a friend of mine. This week he was at a courthouse, waiting to be arrested on a warrant. The story goes that he was pulled over by a traffic policeman…
I, Rule (part II)
Community service in Pixelonia serves two purposes: it gives young kids exposure, time to mature, and builds character AND it provides a grand service to the community relatively cheaply. Community service includes all of the following (and more): Trash collection…
Tao of Gabe: On Writing the Tao of Gabe
Jayna, This how to guide got me through writing this how to guide. Love, Gabe Tao of Gabe Gabe the Iconoclastic Beaver here with a lesson in humor writing. You might well have incorrectly gathered that writing humor is simple…
I, Rule
Welcome to Sim Pixelonia. Pixelonia is a rich country with a steady tax of 10% of all goods and services (sans food and government sponsored shelter). There is no income tax. Crime in Pixelonia is at an all time low…
Welcome to the New Blog!
Pix Capacitor Blog #2 just went live. If you were just redirected from my old site: welcome! Tell me what you think. If you’re here for the carnival: *grumble, grumble, grumble* Tell me what you think. If you’re psychic: I’ll…
Carnival of the Godless 32
Welcome all to the Carnival of the Godless, the best (if not only) carnival from a godless perspective on the blogosphere. In eight days, CotG will be one year old. That makes this the last official carnival of the first…
A SOCK!!!
(scene: 2:00 p.m. Somewhere, New Mexico. Pixel calling friend Alethea to confirm movie plans for tonight. Pixel dials, walks around as the phone rings, and finds a package addressed to him on the dinner table) Alethea: Hello? Pixel: Oh, my…
*kills self*
So I accomplished something. Yeah, a newspaper was published today and I’m sort of credited as the Design Editor. You’d think I’d feel more proud, but all I feel is stress. That’s not right. I’ll have to learn to delegate…
Styx & Butz’s idea of humor
Here’s a fun game: type in ‘penis’ into the Google image search while the moderated searching tab is ‘off.’ Then click search and realize you’re in the middle of work and the half-cocked idea to use a funny background in…
Tao of Gabe: Welcome Back
Dear Fans, Gabe the Hysterical Beaver here welcoming you back to another warm and joyous semester of beaver-related hijinks. I’m your local newspaper’s humor columnist. As a 3’ 1” beaver with a bitch for a wife, a fox for a…
I, Kid (part V)
I’ve come up with a new concept that should modify my 12-year lesson plan (as seen on I, Kid part IV). I call it “Holistic History.” The idea is simple but would require the teacher(s) to have near expertise on…
The Ex-Box
This comes from the Extreme line of Pixelated Gaming. Not to be attempted by the faint of heart. This game involves at least five ex-girlfriends/boyfriends and one current girlfriend First, you pair up the ones that don’t know each other…
The pen is mightier
As a young man (this was like twenty minutes ago), I remember reading that Mark Twain’s birth name was Samuel Clemens and thinking, “That’s not a real name! I refuse to call anyone by their non-real name! What a travesty!…
The most important thing
Once, as a child, my pseudo-intellectual uncle gave me the worst piece of advice I’d ever heard: Every time you open a book, find the author and see who he is, for that is the most important thing to tell…
… Why?
I was reading this comment on this post when I realized something. First the comment, so that you can get my mindframe: Terri Says: Instead of ranting about how all that the Christain believes is false, why don’t you research…
Some things nobody can ever know about guys
Question: If you could live your ideal life right now, ignoring the standards of taste and My mate’s answer: I’d win the lottery so I could still keep working where I work and going to school where I go to…
I’m a grown up. Honest!
How old do you have to be to start buying your own clothes? Yesterday my mum came home with three pairs of pants and a vest… for me. Then I realized that in the past three or four years, all…
This is going to be a long year…
You know, I just realized something… today may be the first day in years that I haven’t written anything… anywhere! … aww damn it!
WTF! Carnival #3
WTF! Carnival # 3 Yeah, yeah, it’s the fourth edition and we have the same basic contributors. But all good things take time to get off the ground, and if you enjoy this, I encourage you to promote it on…
2006
I’ve done New Year’s Resolutions every year now since I was 16. And I usually go through with them. The secret is in my method. My resolutions aren’t like other people’s (lose weight, be happy, smite non-believers). My resolutions are…
WTF 3, NY 6, Pixel Nothing
The latest installment of hilarious quips is up at Spoiled Honey. So go there and vote for me. Also, happy new year. Had I calling cards enough, I’d call each and every one of you… … to ask for money.