I don’t know if I’ve already told this story here, but it’s eerily appropriate given recent events. Back in high school, for our final field trip in a club called MESA (Math, Engineering, Science, Achievement), we went to the Biosphere…

I have an ethical dilemma. This afternoon, while eating lunch, I found a bag. I waited for an hour in the hopes that somebody would come by and claim the bag, but nobody came. I would have turned in the…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Didactic Beaver here, your eyewitness to the recent SAM and MUSC elections 2005. To recap: last year there were no elections, this year there were. Like all issues, however, this has multiple sides. On the…

As I’ve finished the first edition of our new carnival (release date: October 31, Australia Time), I figured I’d print my own rejects here. Stay tuned next week for our grand unveiling. Invent a Time Machine and quick! It’s urgent!…

A total stranger called my column “very funny.” Wow. I haven’t been this flattered since Gadi Schwartz said he wanted to do a piece on the Pix Capacitor (which, of course, I am the key player. I even write most…

My wonderful roommate (is reading this) has some funny foibles. When you speak to him day to day, he’s ever so nice to you (assuming you’re not me). He won’t fight or anything, though he will point out when you’re…

Hey children, remember this? That’s right, it was my response to this man who posted this on my website. That’s an important point. My website. Not his, not anybody else’s. As best as I can remember, I visited his wife’s…

Dear Stoned in San Francisco, Sorry we didn’t take you seriously before. It must be rather unfortunate to go around with such a name. Your comment on how it was relatively impossible to comment on this blog was ignored like…

“Hey you need to come back soon it’s getting really sucky here. There’s no comedy in my life. Everything’s going fine, no adventures, no lies, no philosophical debates, or poking fun of blind people. The other day I pushed a…

After seeing two other guys with long hair and glasses on Wednesday, I have decided to cut off my half-meter long hair. I shall do this at the beginning of November so as to not interfere with my Halloween plans,…

Tao of Gabe Gabe the Emancipated Beaver here with a recently expired poetic license. So any metaphor I use will be as illegal as your hairstyle should be. That was a simile. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Hopefully I’ll manage to…

Seth has asked me numerous times to post about Australia. Apparently, this land holds the same place in his heart that my 6th grade playground holds for me (seriously now: I’m not being facetious. We both realized something in the…

When I was a young lad, I always had a problem with knowing where I stood with regards to my friends. Sometimes they didn’t know I existed (literally), other times they were the ones that were imaginary. I was always…

A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar, sit at the end and start having some drinks. Two hours later, they come out with a better understanding of each other and a mutual respect, the beginnings…

Dear Gabe, My brother is an anti-conformist, but such to the point that he aggravates poeople and makes things hard on everyone, especially himself. Can you supply any advice to him on ‘bending like the grass’ vs. ‘falling like the…

I’ve been asking everyone I know who speaks a different language to tell me how to say this. Aren’t you glad I’m representing New Mexico so well?

I’ve decided to stop labeling my friends. The labels were meant to be general guidelines in the first place. They weren’t supposed to be the be-all and end-all of friendship. It shouldn’t have been the case that I try to…

My uncle’s philosophy for raising a child (cleaned up): “Teach them what you know, let them figure out the rest.” The problem comes when people think that they know things that they in fact do not know. I plan on…

Gabe the Didactic Beaver here with a tale of mystery, insight, and intrigue that will randomly switch into a “your collective mother” joke without notice. I’ve been having a problem of identity recently. See, I thought I knew who I…

SPAM. Before you read this, go here and obey her. The only way we can win is if everyone attacks and attacks decisively. My Media Law teacher once remarked on how SPAM is no worse and might even be better…

I studied for a semester in Pennsylvania. Every item I turned in, regardless of how much effort I put into it, received a 100%. The teachers loved me and my classes were easy.I’m studying for a semester in New South…

My favorite argument of all time is three words. I’ll give you an example before I explain what it is and why it works. 1: “evironmentalism is stupid. Look, folks, our capitalistic society will come up with a solution for…

God is an intuitive concept. If you were to take a child raised by agnostic parents (for they would be the only parents that wouldn’t try to impose their beliefs on their children: for the simple fact that they themselves…

If you’ll recall from March 2005, I’m quite fond of anonymous posts. I see them as a broader response of the world than the particular opinions of one individual. I don’t know, however, if I’ve ever written about vague comments…

Gabe the Revolutionary Beaver here at the Lachlan Review (or as I call it, the ‘View) with a review of Conception Day 2005. It seems that every year Conception Days and first years get smaller. Though this year, our day…

Bah. I had a whole post written, but decided it was too emotional, even for my current trend. Essentially the post asked, “why do genders matter in platonic friendships?” Which they do, often to the point where it borders on…

Gabe the Stupendous Beaver here, to enlighten and snub you. Be glad, I usually save that particular combination for Mother’s Day. The question of the week is: Gabe, if you bash the media so much, why are you printed in…

The Concept A competition of wit. We take the concept of the Goodie Grab Bag to the next degree and combine multiple people’s quips into one über Goodie Grab Bag. The Grab Bag will be hosted by different websites depending…

Oh, and speaking of Carnivals, The new Carnival of the Godless is up at Pinoy Atheist (Also here).My current favorite quip is mentioned there.

This makes me happy in the pants: Sales of the perennial best-selling SUV, the Ford Explorer, dropped by 58% compared with September 2004. Its larger kin, the Ford Expedition, which gets 14 mpg in city driving, saw sales drop 61%.…

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Before I left New Mexico, I considered myself to have one friend and a little under 100 friendly acquaintances (and about double that of byte-sized acquaintances). Now that I’ve been here in…

I’ve done and seen this before, but I never noticed how peculiar it is. Have you ever been walking down a hallway or footpath (sidewalk) and you notice someone up ahead who you recognise (it’s spelled correctly here, damn it)?…

Grumble, grumble, grumble. Uni’s back today and I’m back to queueing for compies. So if I don’t update as much, you can blame that on the fact that there’s less than 50 public computers on this campus of just over…

When I first got here, people said that I would get homesick. “You’ll start getting homesick at around week 3. In the first few weeks, everything will seem new and awesome and everyone’s going to love you. Then, you’ll start…

Welcome to the fourth annual edition of “the Eli’s.” For those of you newbies, “the Eli’s” is an award show that was made up to make me feel better about not getting any other awards. The rules are simple: I…

This grab bag forced by the hands of Seth and Aeger. Lame? You want lame? I made a hierarchy of lame! Ironing underwear, living with your parents, chatting online, Klingon conventions, and finally, making a list of the hierarchy of…

Gabe the Sacriligious Beaver here with an insightful thought experiment. The question of the week is: Do you remember how I told you that sometimes I repeat stories? This is one of those and it’s not something as light and…

I suppose we’ll never know who lucky #5000 was. *sigh* On the other hand, I’m a dollar richer.

Hmm… I didn’t believe I was actually going to make it to 5000 views in 17 days, but now it’s a near certainty. I blame it on the six hundred unique page views of one lonely Saturday (Seriously. WTF? I…

How Often Should I Post? Constantly More Often About as Often Less Often Never As often as you feel inclined, who are we to judge? As often as I check your page, no more, no less. Pollhost

It came to me one day in a ravishing illumination yesterday: humans are outside my moral sphere of consideration. Consider this: I believe that pleasure and pain have value in themselves (positive and negative, respectively). I believe that the ethical…