Muggles are bum codgers

I truly believe I may have underestimated myself again. See, I started rereading all of the Harry Potter books last week, hoping that I would be able to finish them before the release of the sixth book, but now that…

S-K-E-I-G-H-T,,, no, wait, I mean SKATE

Subcultures are so weird. I went “Blading” with my friend “Jason” (not his real name… His real name is Jason Robert Davenport of 116 Hendrich, Chaparral, NM 88081). Now, for those of you “NOOBs,” “blading” is not to be confused…

25 Greatest? Sure

My top 25 list of the Greatest Americans ever, patterned on the Discovery Channel list and along with this post. Susan B. Anthony… Neil Alden Armstrong Henry Clay*… Thomas Alva Edison Albert Einstein Henry Ford Benjamin Franklin Ulysses S. Grant*……

Love in Action

Dear friends of the blogosphere, I draw your attention to this fellow. It appears that a group called “Love in Action” is running a brainwashing camp for gay teens. Now, my friends over at Myspace are advocating for everyone who…

From the mouths of moms

It turns out that my mom’s a Creationist. It all began with my asking her if she believed in Evolution (I should know to never ask my mom these questions. She inevitably disappoints me), and she said no. I asked…

Things to do before I turn 25

Have a terrible secret discovered (preferrably not by someone malevolent) Be hit on by three girls in one 24 hour period Be interviewed by a famous magazine, paper, website, or tv show Be wooed over Change an unjust situation Date…

You too can use the Pixatic Method

Has anyone ever told you something that they thought was deep, but that you’d already thought about it? Furthermore, you’d thought it was quite obvious? It happens to me all the time. This is what it’s like: Simpleton: Have you…

How to avoid getting a ticket

As I was driving to my friend’s house today, I stopped at a stop sign (paused is more like it), and sped away. Moments later, a police car pulled out and pulled me over for stopping too far into the…

I just Metapost I didn’t like

Wow. I’m a copy cat. Check out this post, now check out this one. I didn’t even intend that, I’m just so similar to myself that I post the same things every eight months. I wonder how often that’s happened……

Open Letter to François Tremblay

I’d post this on your blog, but that’s more of a team blog, and I’d hate to draw more people into this than necessary. Dear Mr. Tremblay, Over the past few days you’ve posted some very thought out comments on…

Addiction

Humans are an addictive species. I say this because as I speak, I’m on the internet, again, avoiding my work, again. My mom was a devoted wife. Then my parents split up, so now my mom is a chaplain at…

Professor Pixel, I Presume?

Guess what I found at Barnes & Noble! I’ll give you a hint, it’s approximately 2.8 x 10^74 possible combinations (the exact number is 282,870,942,277,741,856,536,180,333,107,150,328, 293,127,731,985,672,134,721,536,000,000,000,000,000).It looks like a more complex Rubik’s Cube, and costs $30. Give Up?

25 Greatest? Hardly.

AOL and the Discovery Channel, as guided by the American public, goofed again. They’ve turned this into a popularity contest instead of an honest appraisal of our country’s history. Here is their latest list of the 25 Greatest Americans (presumably…

Nice Guys Screw Themselves

She calls you up late at night complaining about the latest jerk thing her assenine boyfriend did to her. You’re busy and you can’t use your phone for very much longer, but you stay on the line and listen because…

Vegan misconceptions

First of all, this comment, “Raising a child as a vegan is child abuse, malnutrition. I can’t believe you would post this on a public blog and not apologize. Forget about me hanging around on this blog, you’re a disgusting…

Testing, Testing, 4, 5, 6

Sorry mailing list people, I’m messing with my template. You understand. Can I read this on the main page? That is the question Below the Fold

Your face is morally repugnant to me

This question’s been bothering me for a long time now and I thought I’d share: Is there such an action that can be committed that, though everyone had full knowledge of it and it never hurt or prevented good to…

I have faith in reason

Ouch. This quiz courtesy of Master Monk. My sympathies to anyone who tries to answer this quiz without contradicting him I’m thinking it’s impossible. Jesus/God/Trinity ————————— Is Jesus a separate entity manifested by God or is he God personified? Explain.…

Anti-Forward

This is a Anti-forward. From now on, whenever you read a message that is forwarded, you are not allowed to forward it under the penalty of forced entry to an orifice you’d prefer remain closed. If you ever decide that…

Hierarchy of Music

Live Radio CD In a movie On your computer In your head Someone else singing it The reason radio is above CD is because there is so much F’ing crap on the Radio. I spend about 80% of my time…

I, Kid

While I don’t plan on having children in my own lifetime, I am confident I would be the perfect father. Not in any of the ways you would imagine, though, because your goals for your child are completely distinct mine.…

Philosopher’s Stone Zeus 1

Pixel Q. Styx: We here at the PIX CAPACITOR think about crazy stuff. And we don’t mean crazy as in “the alien squirrels are hoarding all of the color yellow and the government knows about it!” we mean interesting things…

The impossibility of being me

What does it mean when I go to my own website and get mad at myself for not updating? How about when I look forward to what I’m going to write next more than anyone else? Because I do. And…

AIM Transcripts I

Pixel: it’s a bitter abortion debate Eggo: as opposed to a lighthearted abortion debate? Pixel: I wanna have one of those Eggo: ok my stance: abortion is good Pixel: my stance: abortion is not so good Eggo: I’ve mixed feelings…

Rethink Patriotism

Some further things everyone should rethink. Preferably with a guide of some sort who’s thought this through before or who disagrees with you about everything: Patriotism Love God Piety Religion, Creationism Myths, and Human Psychology Eating Meat Eating Sugar Buying…

S.T.A.H.L. News

This bit of intelligence from a bathroom stall as per yesterday’s post: Rethink Patriotism Wow. I like it because it’s short, sweet, and yet it still packs a whallop. I bet you nobody’s found anything as awesome as that.

I Pee Too

So I’m sitting in the john (not my john, but a john) and I happen to glance up and read the following bit of intelligence: The People who created our problems will not be the ones who fix them. followed…

Pee on your holy book

The U.S. Military admited Friday night that people at Guantanamo Bay “splashed a Koran with urine, kicked and stepped on the Islamic holy book and soaked it with water.” For those of you too lazy to follow the link, check…

I knew I wasn’t alone…

John Adams “Let the human mind loose. It must be loose. It will be loose. Superstition and dogmatism cannot confine it.” Isaac Asimov “Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”

Such Hatred… Damn that Rap Music!

Look at this idiot. He’s such a tool. Half of his opinions are stupid (or inane, or too stupid to have opinions about) and the others are based on lies and half-truths. Furthermore, he’s a real right-wing nut-job as can…

Let’s all run to the plot-holes

Ever noticed how, in scary movies, they never show you the point of view of the killer? Or how they often use newspaper clippings to tell the story that the writer couldn’t work into the dialogue on the count of…

I’m a Genius

Okay, hands up, who all remembered how I’d already pinpointed where everyone goes wrong with blogging before? EVERY blogger should go to this link and follow my advice.

Intelligence from me to you from me

My grand-uncle has a saying: “Cuando encuentres tu pendejo, ¡no lo sueltes!” which translates, roughly, to “once you find your idiot, never let him go” My regular uncle has another saying: “Cada quien escoge sus chingaderas.” which translates, smoothly, to…

Everyone else has had more sex than me

Literally. This Straight Edge stuff is hard. But that’s me: Socially Promiscuous, Fiscally Conservative, but a Personal Prude. Not only do I not drink, smoke, or do drugs, but I avoid meat, products that were tested on animals or created…

How my birthday was

I bought my own birthday cake, I watched a 1960s movie with my mom, and I broke into my friend’s house to use his X-Box and play Halo 2… Alone. Materialistically, I also got a lot of good stuff (notably…

Score!

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear Pixel, Happy Birthday to me! I’m twenty, bitches.

The Tally is In

My life as a teenager: 84.5 viewspapers 56 e-viewspapers a full-length play a one-act play a semi-started sitcom, book, and screenplay dozens of short stories a nice collection of quotes and witticisms a trinity of crazy-ass ex-girlfriends over a hundred…

100 Greatest? Hardly.

AOL and the Discovery Channel have compiled a list of the 100 Greatest Americans (presumably ever), as have I. The following names should not be on the list for various reasons: Barbara Bush George H. W. Bush George W. Bush…

What a M-F-ing A-Hole

Curse words are interesting. People that overuse them reveal their ignorance, people that don’t use them reveal their prudishness. I think they’re interesting. I don’t think they’re special or rude in any particular way (they’re sounds. Rude is the intention…

Stronger is Better

“There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we…

… water…. waterWATER

The temperature is approximately 70 degrees right now (Fahrenheit. Approximately 21.1 degrees Celsius). Nice, ain’t it? Never mind that it’s technically the low for today. The high was 104 (40 degrees Celsius). Apparently, this will continue for another week. Luckily,…