This road trip, I’m going to binge listen to @jessecase vs. Cancer. No spoilers, but I hear in the last episode he holds a door.

Tour Guide: Who is from here? *I raise my hand.* TourGuide: Great- you can be my fact checker! Me: False!

Pilots are just bus drivers in three dimensions… and flight attendants are just waiters in one dimension.

Strangers are just friends I haven’t alienated yet.

I wonder what “I am Groot” is short for. #hodor

The difference between Hodor as a child and bran-damaged Hodor is so Stark.

I angered my cat so much, it took a swipe at me. Luckily, my cat like me, so it swiped right.

I have multiple Ninja Turtle pajamas. #adulting

My slang game is on such a fleek.

This lady is coughing everywhere like she doesn’t believe in germ theory of disease.

Advice for new sports photojournalists: Don’t shoot the messenger, shoot the game.

If you retweet someone wryly, do they know about it?

I’m officially trying to keep up with the snappity chats and the yikkity yaks. I think that means I have also officially been left behind.

I’m 50 percent convinced @GRRMspeaking will troll #gameofthrones fans by keeping Jon Snow dead in Winds of Winter.

It’s ironic that intelligence is such a dumb metric of success.

I have no opinion about your opinion of my musical opinions. As @taylorswift13 says, “Haters gonna hate hate hate.”

The corpse formerly known as Prince.

#Cruz should know that he can’t reference wrestling without people assuming he’s talking about his victims wrestling for their lives.