Just did my taxes. Added up to about what it costs for @FLOTUS to not sleep with @realDonaldTrump for about fifteen minutes. You’re welcome.

Maralago is not the Winter White House. I like “Confederate White House” myself. Although it is historically inaccurate. Of course, Winter WH is meteorologically inaccurate. So…

Donald Trump is a Reductio ad absurdum of humanity.

Wow. Nobody connected the dots for me like that before.

On this day in 1912, Teddy “Bear” Roosevelt decided to run against his chosen successor, William “Cub” Taft, creating the Bull Moose Party.

I was trying to think of who starred in Memento, but I just couldn’t remember.

Not only that, but when Sergei Kislyak was an extra in Memento, he thought Guy Pearce was a method actor. He was not.

When Sergei Kislyak was an extra in Memento, he thought Guy Pearce was a method actor. He was not.

GOP asking for feedback on Trump: ??•••• No bueno. Would not recommend.

A rally to investigate Russian interference on the anniversary of the October Revolution… which just happens to be the next Election Day.

Is it weird to anyone else that #TheResistance is trying to save the Republic?

His cankles are at capacity. His skin is holding on for dear life. His bathroom scale needs to be reinforced. His jeans are *not* recessive.

@chaddenick @JAdomian “notorious chub, Milo, was not so jolly this week when he was disinvited from CPAC amid structural concerns.”

As a Redditor points out, the Russian word for “puppet” is “?????????,” pronounced “kukol-nyy,” or “kuk” for short.

Maybe it really is 4-D Chess, but it’s the first time he’s ever played and he doesn’t quite know the rules yet.

As of just this second, I am officially One Billion seconds old. Think about that: One Billion seconds, but Zero firsts.

Not only will the GOP be on the wrong side of history. Soon they will be on the wrong side of current events.

If I could ask @sinbadbad for one wish, it would be for the Bowling Green Massacre to never have happened. It’s a Berenstain on our history.