The mathematicians were not impressed by my new set of Fibonacci numbers- 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.
The mathematicians were not impressed by my new set of Fibonacci numbers- 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0…
11000
In observation of this very solemn and special occasion, I will not post anything today. I will also not get any older. Sorry. I know we’d had this scheduled for a year, but I just don’t feel like it. Next…
@meznor – Oh No! I forgot that our birthdays were so close! What should we do??
@meznor – Oh No! I forgot that our birthdays were so close! What should we do??
Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. III of XXVI)
Even more! You talk loud and talk a lot, but I still think you’re cool, so we’ll call it quits. Ever meet one of those people that you find really cool, but not cool in exactly the right way to…
Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. II of XXVI)
There’s more! You are one of my favorite people of all time. I love you, man. You’ve grown on me like a fungus. The metaphor is actually very expendable, but I’ll do you a favor and keep it short. You…
@nikithestampede – I want an Alicia day! Or a Niki day.
@nikithestampede – I want an Alicia day! Or a Niki day… 🙁
Social Awareness
If I didn’t have to see people every day, I wouldn’t shave. – Frank Jagear Would you? Suppose you were caught in a deserted island, would you shave then? Assume you have access to a razor, running water, heat, and…
68) ‘AHH!’ (Finally: an appropriate use of scare quotes.
‘AHH!’ (Finally: an appropriate use of scare quotes.)
Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t (pt. I of XXVI)
So I recently did a post where I confessed my true feelings to a bunch of hypothetical people. I had a lot of fun with it, but it turns out it was all a big joke. *sigh* So then, I…
65) I often over-pronounce the ‘b’ in subtle.
I often over-pronounce the ‘b’ in subtle. And, just to be ironic, I under-pronounce the ‘b’ in obvious.
64) They say “hate the game, not the player.
They say “hate the game, not the player.” But I hate both. Also: the coach. And the waterboy.
Apologies for things I wish I could have said, but didn’t
So, the anonymity of it all got to me. What I meant to say, in order: I didn’t mean you only looked stupid when you wear that hat. The hat was a needless qualifier, those were two separate thoughts. ‘You…
Things I wish I could say to people, but can’t
(gakked from Clarity Sage) You look stupid when you wear that hat. You have a banana in your ear. I wish I had told you that you looked stupid in that hat and had a banana in your ear when…
“So” questions
I started this post a year ago, then lost interest after I couldn’t come up with more than five. This is a list of questions to ask someone you don’t know that well, but have to spend some time with. …
Postcards
From Europe, with love: “The Spire.” What bullshit! I can’t believe Ireland honestly wants us to get excited over an oversized flagpole! As a ratio of population size to length, my penis is a larger monument!1 This “was the winning…
41) Have to rewrite my suicide note.
Have to rewrite my suicide note. Teacher says the first draft was ‘too preachy.’
Things you should totally buy me for my birthday
The countdown is on. And you didn’t get me anything last year.1 So here’s a good list of stuff I really want that I don’t currently have. A metal Pica pole ruler. Like this one. Any of these books. I…
33) I don’t believe in love: I don’t even believe in tolerance.
I don’t believe in love: I don’t even believe in tolerance.
Experimental Philosophy
This is what I’ve been doing for the past three months. It started when I uploaded a cartoon of myself as my profile picture on Facebook and instantly got a lot of requests for similar images. This guy, who I…
19) Here’s a prank: take the nicotine and caffeine out of someone’s cigarettes and coffee.
Here’s a prank: take the nicotine and caffeine out of someone’s cigarettes and coffee. Now have them baby-sit a colicky baby. Hilarious.
18) The trip was nice, I took advantage of the first six hours to sit and stare straight ahead.
The trip was nice, I took advantage of the first six hours to sit and stare straight ahead. Then, I looked down and to the left somewhat
17) My moral compass doesn’t point to True North.
My moral compass doesn’t point to True North. It just points forward.
On the Catwalk
This is what I’ve been doing over the past week. It was a favor for a friend. She wanted me to charge her, but the moment my internal anger clock passed $100, I decided it would be better for our…
16) “I love you too” in Guy means “I really don’t want this to turn into an argument right now.
“I love you, too” in Guy means “I really don’t want this to turn into an argument right now.”
13) I want to be a jerk.
I want to be a jerk. You always see the jerks with girls they don’t deserve. I want a girl I don’t deserve. I think I’ve earned it.
8) Would you like the soul and body of Christ? “No, thanks, I had some Buddha earlier.
Would you like the soul and body of Christ? “No, thanks, I had some Buddha earlier.”
Why it is okay to panic
Everyone gets the flu. Influenza sucks and then you get over it. Or you don’t. Lots of people die of it every year. So why the panic? Well the obvious reasons are that it’s a new strain for which we…
C: I’m depressed because I’m wasting my youth: I’ll never be 25 again.
C: I’m depressed because I’m wasting my youth: I’ll never be 25 again. D: But you’re not 25 now! C: Oh, yeah, I guess I will be 25 again..
I know I have no deadlines right now, but I’m still being very productive.
I know I have no deadlines right now, but I’m still being very productive. #oppositeday
Pregret
I thought I’d invented this word. Oh, well. Have you ever been writing an answer on a test and you’re fairly certain it’s wrong, but you write it anyway because the alternative answer sounds even more wrong? That happened to…
Reasons to go back on Facebook
Current Mood: Sort of worried and feeling like I got shocked in the sack a little bit. Sarah doesn’t really worry me, because she’s in Pennsylvania and she’s been too stressed lately, so the cause is probably just her own…
Next time a girl from my past contacts me without warning, I’m just going to tell her I’m happily married with four kids.
Next time a girl from my past contacts me without warning, I’m just going to tell her I’m happily married with four kids.
Ten things you do not want to figure out after the fact
You should back up your hard drive. Often. Birth control is important. It is immoral to steal someone’s once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. No one wants to hear knock-knock jokes or limericks at a eulogy. Baldness is hereditary. It is inadvisable to have…
I just heard that the people I know/care about in Mexico City are okay.
I just heard that the people I know/care about in Mexico City are okay. No #swineflu for them. *relief* *fret* *relief*
Man, I don’t want to die of #swineflu! I don’t even eat pork, let alone handle it.
Man, I don’t want to die of #swineflu! I don’t even eat pork, let alone handle it. Why is there never a Tofu Flu or a Soy Curd Cold?
Pearls before Swine
I have a lot of family in old Mexico. They greet each other (and strangers!) with kisses on the cheek. They are very nice people. Mexico warns no kissing as 81 dead in swine flu outbreak Shit. But most of…
Things that are sketchy and things that are not
(Hey guys: I’m trying to come back slowly into the Internet. Here’s something silly.) I was just asked for money in a parking lot outside of a Burger King. The man, ‘Jared,’ wanted $5 to ‘call his mom.’ I slowly…
Can you have pregrets? Because most of my relationships start off with me being sad with all the mistakes I’m bound to make.
Can you have pregrets? Because most of my relationships start off with me being sad with all the mistakes I’m bound to make.
Callooh! Callay
I usually don’t use my blog as a repository of feelings. So rather than do that, I’ve decided to present to you another adventure in my anti-life. In case you don’t know, an anti-life is the exact opposite of the…
Saw a theatre production of the apology.
Saw a theatre production of the apology. Spoiler: In the end, Athens swatted the gadfly.
I realized today that I’m only funny when I’m happy.
I realized today that I’m only funny when I’m happy. And that made me sad. 🙁 ha ha, that’s actually kind of funny.
@mablicia – remember that time I wore a trench coat and got suspended because they thought I was a terrorist?
Remember that time I wore a trench coat and got suspended because they thought I was a terrorist?
Hey everybody – High school permanent records are complete bullshit, aren’t they? I mean.
Hey everybody – High school permanent records are complete bullshit, aren’t they? I mean… has it ever come up for anyone since?
Watching My So-Called Life, which reminds me of My.
Watching My So-Called Life, which reminds me of My… what-do-you-call-it… Life?
Holy shit.
Holy shit. First draft of paper is done! And I still have 22 hours to make it look academic and nice… I’m going on a drinking binge.